sacrod's Xanga

Wow, it's been almost a year!

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:13:54 GMT

I have not posted anything in my xanga for nearly a year. It's already November 2008, and Black Friday is just three or four weeks away. Per the last post, here is the update on my $80 purchase last year of the Shu Uemura cleansing oil: I still have around 1/3 of the bottle left. It should last me well into the next year.

The L'Occitane Immortelle products that keep my face from feeling more eczema dry than they really are, however, is another story. They've strategically "improved" their products, and use that as an excuse jack up each of the prices by $15-$20. Then, the new dispensers they use to showcase their "new and improved" products dispense more of the stuff in one squirt (much more now than is needed for me to get my face feeling sufficiently un-dry), and they've made it all the more difficult to control how much of the product you can squirt out if you want to squirt less (their "eye dropper" dispenser squirts out way more than is necessary, compared with the older "lotion dispenser" dispenser). To make matters worse, they also strategically discontinue their older versions of the product. Hence, consumers must buy even more at their outrageously expensive price. With that complaint in mind, I highly recommend this stuff. At this point they are just about the only thing that have really worked long-term in making the skin on my face feel normal..

Have a nice day :)

What did you buy on Black Friday?

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 04:36:17 GMT

That is the question for the day. What did you buy for Black Friday?

I didn't buy anything electronical. But I did get a two shirts for work, a pair of khaki-colored pants.

I also bought an *expensive* bottle of shu uemera facial cleanser (almost $80 worth), which will last me over a year (I bought my last one sometime in October of last year, and I'm still using it... probably have a month or two left in it!).

Wave of Sorrow

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 02:51:05 GMT

Never-before-released U2 song, which will be in the new rerelease of the Joshua Tree.

The Unit

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 09:28:33 GMT

One of the best things about having such a busy schedule is that I've significantly cut down on my television consumption (hurray!). Now there are only three shows I really watch each week: Heroes, The Unit, and Grey's Anatomy. What has replaced the television is Napster... lots of Napster... there goes more money...

However, I have to make this rant. Tonight's episode of the Unit was really good, but it was really good partly because it was really disturbing. Anyone who wants a break from their lives can go to cbs.com/innertube and watch it. It's disturbing on two parts:

1) In a state of "war", preferential treatment is given. The value of one life is placed far above the value of another life. An innocent family is just sitting around their home having dinner when a bunch of American soldiers barge in, and then later kill a guy, because all he wants to do is save his own family. You want so badly for the Unit guys to be nice and friendly and treat this family well; but their lives are on the line and they'll shoot to kill anyone who will compromise their mission... their mission to save the life of one American who, by the way, doesn't like Americans... Like 50 Iraqi people die on the account of that one life.

2) As the group is being rescued, one of the main characters is shot and killed by a sniper. Why is it that black guy always has to be the one to go?? I really liked that character...

I should've recorded this episode... I could have used it for my ethics class... oh well. Back to work for me... Got some of my stack of papers taken care of... not enough of it though...

Friday, November 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 06:24:26 GMT

I felt like posting something, even though there isn't really much to post about. So I'll talk about the SCC concert. I haven't been to a real SCC concert since... I'm not quite sure... But I've seen SCC do one of those mini-concerts as part of a big conference (at DCLA 94 & 97). So I'm thinking maybe the last time I saw SCC in concert was about 10 years ago...

This was a really fun concert. It was one of the few, or perhaps the only concert I've attended where I knew literally every song he sung, and could sing along to every song. I think the exception must have been a Petra concert I attended in 1992. I don't think there is any other artist whose concert I can attend and know every single song. Concerts are better when you know all the songs.

The only bummer about this concert is that the power went out. I suppose this made it a memorable experience. Because of it, they had to bring in a generator, which took about an hour to get to the place (making us fall behind in schedule). Rather than place her songs, Bethany Dillon (the opening act) came out along with SCC's song Will Franklin and did an acoustic set of worship songs for us. So basically we sat there for about 30 minutes singing worship songs to a guitar and a djembe that was not mic'ed up. It was truly acoustic. When Sanctus Real (another opening act) came out, they did an acoustic set concert for us also. By that time they got some of the lights going, and some of the things mic'ed up, so we could actually hear the people singing.

When SCC came out they actually had everything running, finally, so we got the full-blown concert. Though it seems like they could have benefited from another sound check, because I think the mics were a little loud and disproportionate to the music. That's OK. It turned out to be a great concert. SCC's kids are amazing musicians. His youngest son Will Franklin is pretty awesome. He's such a cute boy... I love his hair. Suprisingly, they didn't sing a lot of songs from the new album... only like 3 or so. They opened up with The Great Adventure, rather than with a song from the new album, which was weird. But that's OK. It was a really nice mix of songs. I wish the concert would have lasted longer, though... it wasn't long enough.

I have all these weird feelings and memories of attending such overt Christian concerts, because my memory of them were at a time when I was in a completely different mindset and understanding of life. Everything was so happy and fluffy back then. Years ago music was my life, and concerts were one of the only things I sought to attend. I was a loner (still am), and to cope, music became my world. I felt a sense of love and belonging in such an environment... something I did not feel anywhere else. At such events, people were all so genuine on the surface.

How much changes in 10 years. Now with my experience, and the fact that I've spend a year on an activities board in college whose sole purpose was to go backstage and help with set up and tear down equipment, seeing the artists backstage and not really giving any care that they had albums or were famous (I've been around POD, Joan Baez, Lucinda Williams, Third Day, Sixpence, Jars of Clay, Caedmon's Call, Bruce Cockburn, etc.), all has helped me see that people are simply that - people. Who cares if they have albums? I know people who write books. Big deal.

Now I look at such events with a kind of awareness and skepticism. I'm back to trying to figure out what it means to be part of this clique called Christian culture, evangelicalism at the core. The people look the same as when I remembered them. Almost all white people. A few minorities spread out here and there. Everybody is very kind and friendly, and on the surface appears to love Jesus. I don't remember what it's like to be in this kind of Christian culture anymore. I went to Calvin College. We smoked... chain-smoked, in fact... we were very proud that we could chain smoke (I didn't; but almost everyone I knew did). We frequented bars and drank... sometimes with our profs. Our professors prayed before class started and went on to lecture and said "shit" and "asshole" here and there. We had friends and classmates who were devoutly Christian, and gay. Roommates and floor mates were... like anyone else you'd meet in any other dorm. Guys made very explicit jokes about their balls and their phalluses. Marijuana stunk up the air at a concert I once attended. Back at the dorms my classmate (who is now a pastor) thought it was "so fucking awesome" - that all these marijuana-smoking hippies would come to our school and get exposure to Christianity. What a perspective... This was Calvin College. This college has shaped my Christian life and my faith in the most tremendous way.

It's weird to come back to the environment of my youth and hear SCC tell these great feel-good "Christiany" stories about his kids and blessings and make clean Christian jokes. He's a really funny guy, actually. It's hard not to find him loveable.

In any case, it is easy for someone of my background and experiences to take one of two perspectives on this. The first is to see my former Calvin environment as that example of everything that is bad and hypocritical about Christianity. Return to the bubble because it is safe, and it is where the "real Christians" are. The conservatives... the republicans... the fundamentalists... hahaha! The second is to take the Calvin attitude and ridicule any environment where such conservative evangelicalism occurs. Perceive these environments with cynicism, because you know the truth about the people. People at these events are either hypocrites, or people who are so completely blinded by the reality of life because they have existed only within a neat, perfect little bubble. These people need lives. They need to figure out that life is not this fluffy. They are so completely thoughtless and ignorant of their ignorance. They need to realize what it's like to have real problems, real issues, and very, very deep depravities. Such an environment, one may argue, are for the simple-minded. People there don't know what faith is like, because they've never really thought about their faith. They've never had to be challenged by their faith. They only know how to inreach. Their idea of an outreach is to "witness" to strangers and never see them ever again. But at least now they can brag to their friends that they've "led 15 people to Christ." It can become easy to pity the people within these environments...

But here's the twist. I took neither perspective at the concert... mainly because i think I am trying to break beyond those two perspectives, and I think it would be wrong for us to dichotomize these perspectives and make hasty generalizations about people in such an uncharitable manner. Yes, there are people there who are hypocrites. And yes, there are lots of people there who are cluelessly lost inside of the bubbles. But I imagine there is a very large percentage of people in these environments who have experienced life and the sufferings of life in the fullest and deepest way that one can experience the sufferings of life. And somehow, despite the terriblness of their experiences... despite that they've been tortured and have seriously messed up problems, they have a very profound understanding of the grace of God in their lives. I would like to think that people within those environments realize this complexity of faith. This is the complexity of the simplicity. This kind of profound understanding, I believe, is the affirmation of grace and redemption that SCC sings about. At least I would hope, that this is why I think SCC is only prima facie fluffy. It is the notion that faith is a journey. You can begin with having the mere faith of a child. But as life continues, your faith expands, and is challenged, and maybe even lost. But faith seeks to go beyond what it does not understand. And when the individual realizes that, in her reasoning, she can go no further, it is then that she returns to faith. She returns to that sense of the childlike faith; but this time, it is no longer mere. It is with a new kind of awareness and understanding. Even despite my sufferings, I live with the hope that God is still good. Despite that i know people are messed up and depraved, and many who are worshipping aren't really worshipping and in fact live a total and complete lie of a life, I think God is still present. And so, I enjoyed my time with this community of Christians. Despite that I still feel I did not much belong, I still did.

What a great concert... Steven Curtis Chapman is still cool.

Steven Curtis, Caleb Stevenson, & Will Franklin Chapman

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 07:46:51 GMT

Steven Curtis Chapman

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 02:12:55 GMT

This is a meaningless stream-of-conscious post about Steven Curtis Chapman.

Ever since my teenaged years, I've been a big fan of Steven Curtis Chapman. His music to me had been honest, simple, and worshipful. And by simple, I don't mean to say it has some sort of meaningless simplicity in the fluffy fake happiness sense of the term. The simplicity is more complex, in the sense that it has music that is life-affirming and conveys the deep message of Grace and Redemption in a manner that any human being can comprehend.

With that in mind, I have to say, with reservation, that his newest album is quite prima facie fluffy. Some songs aren't; but maybe it's all the singalong anthemic songs on it that makes it appear prima facie fluffy. I'm not too sure. Not to say I don't enjoy it... Anthemic songs can be enjoyable. For the Sake of the Call is an anthemic song, and I really like that song. So maybe I'm just operating by this thoughtless double standard, and I'm speaking out of mere taste. Perhaps there exists no realism within the content of this critique.

I still think much of it suffers from the fluffy factor. It seems like something about the whole of this album that doesn't have what the other albums do. I suppose The Great Adventure was a pretty fluffy album, too. Maybe I'm just saying that because I don't much care for country music, and The Great Adventure was really country. I have this misguided and admittedly biased perspective that says that country music is generally fluffy. Or maybe I'm saying that because Got 2B Tru is on that album. CHEESY. I used to like that song, too...

Maybe I'm just picky. I tend to like every other SCC album better... Declaration significantly paled in comparison to Speechless, and Signs of Life showed that SCC has mad guitar skillz. But Signs of Life was really not as good as Heaven in the Real World. Actually, it was pretty good. Signs of Life was a good album. I never bought All About Love, although I have heard that album. But let's face it. An album entitled "All About Love" and contains only love songs does have a tendency to make a person want to gag. For The Sake of the Call was greater than The Great Adventure, and before that, this is where there is a gap in the teeter totter. More to This Life is almost equally as great, but Real Life Conversations is OK. I never purchased First Hand, so I can't say much about it. In any case, All Things New, in my humble opinion, is a better album than This Moment.

With all of that said, I am still listening to this album a lot, because I enjoy some of the anthems... And several months ago I bought tickets to see SCC this coming Monday. So obviously I have to learn the songs so I can sing along. The only thing that makes me feel really guilty is that I probably should be grading papers during that time... *sigh* What can I do? I bought those tickets months ago...

Here's my ranking of the best SCC albums of all time:
1. For the Sake of the Call
2. More to This Life
3. Speechless
4. Heaven in the Real World
5. Signs of Life

Actually, everything that I just said ought to be completely dismissed. The reason why I enjoy the albums that I did had much more to do with where I was at during that time of my life than that they were good albums or bad albums with fluffy music and anthemic lyrics. For the Sake of the Call and More to This Life reminds me of the better moments of my youth. I attended a For the Sake of the Call concert, and had 2nd row seats. While standing outside in line for the concert, my friends and I made up a rhyme. "Mabel, Mabel set the table, then go sit and watch some cable." I have no idea what it meant, and why it is we made it up. I was like 13 or 14 years old... That concert was a lot of fun, even though the speaker was right in front of my ears.

I listened to Speechless for the first time while inside of a train that was taking me into China. As the song, "Speechless" rang through my ears, I was truly speechless. Everything was so completely green. My grandmother was in every farmer I saw in the rice fields. For the first time in my life, I had gone home. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. China is in my soul.

Steven Curtis Chapman reminds me of China. Not because he has Chinese kids; but because his music brings me back to my roots. That complex sense of simplicity. The complex simplicity of my history. The complex Simplicity of faith, of grace, of redemption. Of the love of God. That which I cannot fathom, and consequently causes within me great skepticism. Nevertheless, I can't wait to see SCC in concert... perhaps for the last time. Maybe it'll be fluffy. Oh well. At least I'll enjoy it.

Meaningless post about Kaiser

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 02:23:19 GMT

For the record I *really* dislike Kaiser. But it does have redeeming qualities. They're big and convenient. They've gone electronic on their medical records. They are pretty good in the policy arena, and emphasize preventative care. I never have to pay for my shots. My school gives me full benefits, even though I'm part time. Sometimes they have really good doctors. I can't speak for the ones who are in my church who I know are doctors (i.e., Dr. Wang). But I can speak about these ones:

My old pediatrician, Dr. Mitchell. I still rave about Dr. Mitchell because she is seriously THAT good. And I'm nearly 31 years old now. How much can a doctor influence a kid? I wanted to be a doctor because Dr. Mitchell used to give me stickers and stamps. If I ever have kids I hope she's still around because I'm taking them to Dr. Mitchell.

My dermatologist. He doesn't fluff up information, and gets straight to the point and doesn't try to be your friend, even though he isn't unapproachable. He comes and goes; but he knows what he's talking about. I want all my doctors to bypass fluff and tell me like it is.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 02:59:01 GMT

A student gave me a hug today. I won't tell you why, but she did. Maybe God is working... I hope He is.

I've come to the conclusion that I love people. I'm introverted and very much a hermit, and I'm admittedly not very expressive. But I love people. How much deeper is the love of God for me? I could not fathom, or imagine. It's a concept that I cannot grasp. The extent to which the very concept itself is unfathomable makes me skeptical. But I hope that, as I am an imperfect reflection of God, and as I am made in His image, that I can be as much of an imitation of that love as I possibly can, as imperfect as it is. Reason seeks to go beyond what it does not understand, to which point, faith enters to continue to seek understanding. I think that's how it goes...

Mark 9:24b

I Thessalonians 5:25

Missions Conference messages

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:27:01 GMT

Friday Night (with translation)
Sunday Morning English service

Missions Conference messages are now available online, in case anyone missed it and was curious to hear. Please ignore my long introduction Friday night (fast forward 3-5 minutes), and fast forward 5 minutes on Sunday's sermon. Both are unimportant and entirely not worth listening to...

Unfortunately, they forgot to record Saturday night's conference. I'll bribe the speaker into giving me his notes later... For starters, we can all help subsidize his income by buying his books... hahaha!

Feeling Like God: A Spiritual Journey to Emotional Wholeness
Knocking on Heaven's Door: A New Testament Theology to Petitionary Prayer

Thanks again everyone for those of you who came to participate and help out... I felt really blessed, and I know everyone on the committee was really blessed as well. My hope & prayer is that we as a church (& especially Co Koi) will be able to implement the lessons we had learned....

Thanks.